How are we called to live?

I have been thinking about how we should live. When I say 'we' I mean Christians. I mean people who really love Jesus. How should we live? What does that look like? I know what it doesn't look like...because it is what made me hate the church for so long. Always loved Jesus, just not always his people. I had a lot of growing to do, still do...so I ask the question...what does it look like. Reflecting back on conversations from the past few weeks I am surprised how much that question keeps popping up.

I keep coming back to loving the Lord and loving others. That's what Christ himself  told us was most important. So what does it look like to love the people in my life, really love them. I have to choose to love even when it looks counter to the culture I live in. It means speaking the truth in norther MN even when what I would like to do is just keep my mouth shut. It means offering a place to stay to some young people because they need a home and we have a space. It means being kind and patient with the two little snot nosed kids the Lord placed in our family even if I didn't birth them.

It's this kind of love that get me worked up and frustrated when I live far away from parents who need someone to just help them right now. Or why I want to shake the girl across the table and tell her that she is worth so much more then the lukewarm relationship she is in and that Lord created and loves her...values her and wants to see her at peace! It is what breaks my heart when I realize I have been believing the lie that tells me that my life is my own....that if I have too much on my plate then I can just say no to the needs around me. Wrong! If there is 'too much on my plate' to love the person next to me in a real and genuine way...well then my priorities are wrong and I have taken my life back from my savior who bought me with his own blood. Isn't that what love really is? Isn't that the way that he calls us to love others?

Still thinking....

The taste of bitter and sweet....

When Mike and I got married almost 4 years ago we did something a little different. Rather then lighting a unity candle we drank wine. Specifically two types of wine. One was bitter and one was sweet. This was to remind us that there will be all kinds of times together. there will be the sweet wonderful times that we want to wrap ourselves up in and there will also be those hard bitter times of struggle and pain. In all circumstances we chose to covenant with each other and the Lord.

As I look back at 2011 the sweet far outweighs the bitter! Thank you Lord for for a year that is full and overflowing with such rich times of blessing as well as helping us to see the sweet that mingles with the bitter.

Sweet:
March~ we went to Ethiopia to meet two little girls who would join our family!
May~ Traveled to Ethiopia with my parents to pick up the twins and bring them home to daddy!
      ~enjoyed 3 months off of work getting to know our girls!
Summer~Filled with welcome home visits and parties for the girls!
            ~So blessed by Juli and Lori Who helped up with the girls when I went back to work!
August~Returned to Target, and realized just how much my coworkers really mean to me!
Fall~The launch of our much beloved little church plant!
September~ Mike has worked for his new company for a year and they respect and appreciate him!
                ~Last year we got pictures of the girls and this year they are home!
                ~my mother who came for almost 2 weeks to help me get back on my feet after being ill....thanks    dad we know it wasn't easy to give her up for that long!
Oct~ I was able to leave Target and become a full time stay at home mother!
      ~We put our house on the market asking the Lord to show us the direction we should go with out lives.

Bitter:
On going~The girls have been sick off and on with strange stuff...to be expected!
Summer~ Hard stuff with getting the church planted. Broken hearts and lots of tears.
August~ I got really sick and was on the couch for about 2 weeks.
October~We put our house on the market
November~Our little Hugo ran away.

I have a feeling that there are a lot of things that I have forgotten, but I just wanted to take a few moments to reflect on life, where we have been and where we are going. As things stand at this moment there is a couple who is really interested in our home and I may be able to add the praise of selling our home and getting ready to move to Esko before the year is done. Thank you to all who have so faithfully kept our family in your prayers. We are so richly blessed and encouraged by you.

Runaway

Well we have spent the last two weeks house sitting in the Barnum area. Over all things have gone really well. The girls love running around the large living and kitchen area. Mike and I are enjoying cooking in this beautiful kitchen. We had our first Thanksgiving with the girls here and were joined by my parents and some friends.

Sadly our beloved little dog Hugo ran away on Wednesday and we have not seen him for 3 days now. Amira got up from her nap the other day singing gogo gogo, puppy gogo gogo (Hugo) it about broke my heart.

The endlessly annoying thing is that for he past two months I have been so mad at him. He has just been bad. Strong willed and naughty. He has been running more and more and I just don't have time to deal with him now that the twins are here. A few weeks ago I wishes he would just run away.....and now he has. It is just so sad.

This wasn't the way it should go. Mike got him for me after we had to put Brandi our boxer down. I was lonely because he had gone away for two weeks and we still had not heard anything about the girls and when we could bring them home. When I saw him I just knew he fit that little hole in our family.

We miss you little Hugo....our gogo dog. praying that you are safe and warm wherever you are or that the end was quick.

I said 'Hey what's goin' on...."

November update on our crazy life. the girls are now 18 months old, and have been home for 6 months. I would love to say that all is going well, but it isn't. We have been dealing with diarrhea again for the past month. We took stool samples in again for the third time but they are clear. They have grown taller, but have not put weight on in the last 3 months so our doctor wanted us to see the infectious disease doctors....long story short they are first sending us to a children's gastrointestinal doctor. That mixed with our doctor telling us to feed the girls whatever they want as much as they want....means I get another month of poop to my elbows. You wouldn't know they are sick! I guess that is good. They are still active and happy....most of the time. Pushing each other and the boundaries all the time.

The house saga continues. We have taken it off the market for the holidays and the plan is to put it back up in March. However, if someone is looking please feel free to contact us. I have had to do a lot of wrestling with the shear fact that the house may not sell. I have come to the conclusion that I will be angry and that I should maybe start dealing with that possibility sooner then later. We love our home and would be happy to raise our family in it....there are just a lot of things that would mean....letting go of some dreams that I realize I have been holding tightly too.

On an up note Mike and I were able to get away for the weekend! We had a wonderful time down in the cities. The girls had fun at Nana and Papa's house. They even got to see uncle David! Mike and I did some shopping and went to a water park! it was too fun!

Just a few updates

Just want to keep you all up to date on
Life for us. There are a few newer pics of the girls. They love going to the park down the street as well as cooking. We will have a lot more time for that after this week. Wednesday is my last day at Target. It still does not seem real!!

It seems like the girls have been sick almost every week. The bath pics are Amira after one really bad diaper. She started screaming but by the third pic she realized she was in the tub and i was taking pics! Both things she loves!

Amira Is a full time walker now and Amina is catching up quickly! It is good to see Mina walking too! Amira climbs on everything and had turned over a diaper box in an attempt to climb into her crib. My back was turned for about 30 seconds.

We have the house on the market until the end of the month and then we will try again in the spring. We have had great feedback but no takers yet!

We are really looking forward to the holidays this year and the free time that comes with not working! Kicking it off with a visit from Grandma Laurie this week! We are all so excited!

I will trust the Lord

Well we put the house on the market last week. We have had two showings. We have no idea how the house will do, but we have gotten positive feedback so far. I have shared the news with people at work and just in passing and the common response has been 'what are you doing? You have a great house and didn't you just do a ton of work to it?' Or 'Have you guys found another house you want? Did Mike get a new Job?' We are not moving for a job or even for a nicer home. We are not moving for a better school district or because we can make a mint on our dearly loved home.

When you tell people in Duluth that you would like to move to Esko everyone thinks it is for the school or the land....although these are nice things....they are not WHY we desire to move. We are moving because we, quite literally, want to be where God wants us. Explaining this has been strange and fun. One of my brothers thinks we are crazy and worries that we will sell the house, give all the money to the church and move onto a compound. And I guess if that is where the Lord leads...

Here is the reality of it. God has asked his people to go in every generation...to be physically in a place they are not originally from so that they can be where He wants them and DO what He has for them to do. We love this little church plant that we have been a part of but the reality is that we can not live so far away and make an impact. We have spent months asking the Lord what way He wants us to go....silence.

We put moving on the back burner because the girls were coming. I told Mike that I did not even want to think about it until they had been home for a year. Then, this summer, things started to change...with the reality of girls coming home we realized we just can't do it. Some things, unrelated to us, hurt our little body and we began to question again...is this where we should be? Are these our people? Is this little struggling church it? Lord, if you would just answer us we would know.... We would be faithful.....silence....still.

I began to ask Mike what keeps us from being more involved? Top of the list...the distance. So in a crappy market....with a house that we need to sell for a reasonable rate...we are asking the Lord to answer the question we have been asking for a year. We have stepped out...and we know from His character that He will answer us one way or another.

My prayer is that this house will sell. I LOVE our home, but my heart is here less and less. It will be bittersweet to leave it behind. When I look at what it would mean to stay I am undone. So many things have happened, so much has changed...I do not know how I could go back to life the way it was before this little congregation. The truth is, I can not go back. I am forever changed. I will trust the Lord because He knows better then I. That is all I can say about where we are today. I will trust the Lord.

Amina in her jumper. She loves it! I know she does not have a smile in this picture but on normal days she is grinning from ear to ear and won't stop jumping!
Amira, standing by herself. It will not be long and both girls will be walking.

So life has been a little crazy at our home! We have had a wonderful summer filled with visits from family and friends as well as a number of parties! We had a belated 1st birthday for the girls in July. What a blast....there are some pics at the end. Thanks again to Dave and Juli for hosting us! Uncle Jason and Sommer came for a visit all the way from Hawaii! It was so good to have them here! The girls loved them so much and we were all sad to see them go after a week long visit. Uncle Jason took them swimming in the big lake and they thought that was really fun! Both girls were happy to have any time they could get to snuggle and laugh with Sommer!

We also had Matt and Lisa up from Chicago. We went to the cabin and the girls got to swim and go fishing! They LOVE boat rides and just about anything that has to do with the water! They really are their daddy's girls!
Amira, What a little ham!

Amina, in the big girl chair.....just enjoying being outside!

Just as we were winding down our crazy summer I got sick. Not the 24 hour flu, we are talking layed out on the couch for a week with no sign of things getting better. All I could think of was all that had to get done. It was my last week with the girls before going back to work at Target. The house needed a good clean after all of our visitors, and I just did not want to feel crappy. So I went in to the doctor and he did blood work. everything came back negative, but due to the fact that most tick related illnesses come back false negatives he started me on antibiotic for it. I got well enough to get off the couch, eat some food and start work again. Just in time too....

We have decided to put the house on the market. Yep we are selling the house that we have worked so hard on with the kitchen we love so much! Why? Because we believe in what the Lord is doing in Esko! Our church family is there and we miss them. If I have learned anything in the past 4 months having the girls home and being ill it is this....I need my family. Mike and I have prayed and prayed asking for clear direction from the Lord if we are really supposed to be a part of this fellowship, and He is quiet. So we will put the house on the market and ask Him to bring a buyer. If he does not then we will have our answer and we will stay. If he does then our little family will start a whole new adventure! So if you know anyone who would like our home....let us know!

The girls with their friend Asha! They are seeing a lot more of each other now that I am back at work! Juli has the girls 3 days a week for us so that I can go back to Target for a period of time.
Amira really got into her cake at the party!

Mike had to help Amina get into hers. She was not so sure at first, but she really liked the frosting!
Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement as we worked to bring the girls home, as we have been adjusting and a special thanks to those who have been praying over me and this sickness...a few more weeks on the drugs and we hope to have it knocked out!

Please keep us in prayer as we try to sell our home. We love it here and it will be a sad day, but we are trusting the Lord to make our path clear.